Archive for September, 2013

Then / Now

The Friday before last year’s Labor Day weekend, I had an ultrasound to check on the heartbeat of my slightly lagging behind baby. The heartbeat was still slow. I was told to come back on Tuesday, after the holiday.

Tuesday came and told me what I already knew, that the baby wasn’t going to make it, and we scheduled an in-office d&c for the next day, Wednesday. And Friday morning I got up and hopped in a van with 5 other friends and ran the Colorado RAGNAR relay, a 200 mile relay race from Breckenridge to Aspen.


At the time, I remember thinking “When I look back on the decision with the benefit of perspective, I’m going to realize it was really dumb.” But now, a year later I sit here, 28 weeks pregnant, dropping my husband off at the same van to run the same race, this time without me, I have zero regrets about how the week after Labor Day went down last year. My options, as I saw them, were to sit at home and drink my weight in red wine while listening to Counting Crows, or to go running through the mountains with friends on a fall weekend. And, you know, there is always time to drink red wine and listen to Counting Crows and feel sorry for oneself – in fact, in case you were worried, I managed to do that anyway, a few weekends later – but even with the slow running pace and the discomfort of running so soon after delicate lady surgery, I’d still do it again.

This is, I think, a runner thing, but also, a time in life thing; for runners, running is what makes things better. If we can run, we’re still ok. And at that time in life – the “trying and failing to start a family” time in life, which I do understand is a Very Specific Interval, one that feels like, if you’ll pardon the phrase, a pregnant pause; a waiting and hesitating and putting things on hold-ing – the idea of giving up one more thing that I wanted to do in the name of something I couldn’t have, well. No.

I thought about running the relay again this year, even though I’d be all pregnant and slow. What a great bookend to the story, right? But Mike rightfully pointing out some flaws with that plan, and I dropped him off this morning with zero regrets, except perhaps annoyance that my friends are in the mountains while I’m at work. After drop-off I ran through the neighborhood trails before work, a slow slog, a lumber, really, feeling all 15 of the extra pounds I’ve got, and thinking “This is exactly where I’m supposed to be.” I walked the uphills. I talked to my dog, I talked to my baby, we enjoyed the morning.

Last year at this time, I wanted to be running hard; I carried my sadness (and my percoset) over the mountains and I wanted it to hurt, to feel taxing. I was hurting, I was taxed. But today, I feel content. The gift of being ok not running, well. That’s a nice thing to have.

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This Week in FOOOD

Couple of quick updates, all food related:

1. I bought Gwyneth Paltrow’s book “It’s All Good” Look, Ok, I KNOW. I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW. But it’s GOOD. Um, All Good, if you will. (I hate myself.) If you find yourself at a bookstore, it’s worth flipping through and reading a few of the recipes to see if they work for you. I was sold pretty quickly – the soups, the salad dressings, the veggies – there’s some really great healthy stuff in there that falls in line with how I like to cook ANYWAY, and the kids section is actually kind of awesome. And because this baby has made me a borderline vegetarian (Mary Mooooooon) (sorry) (have we talked about this? What’s a paleo girl to do when her our baby turns it’s almost formed nose at red meat? Well, eat a lot of other stuff. Basically, if I could eat roasted veggies for every meal, I would  – and, uh, occasionally, do – and this cookbook has some really great non-meat dependent meals that are also not grain dependent, so, you know…wooo.)

Anyhoo, it’s one of those cookbooks that makes me want cook all the time, and, while YES, Goop can be a bit…much, luckily I’ve been conditioned on years of Barefoot Contessa and her “2 tablespoons really GOOD olive oil” and like, look, Ina, I’m doing the best I can, right? So yeah, I can roll with the “just hop out to your garden and grab some fresh herbs that were grown with love and unicorns!” and reach instead for my dried herbs and spices and the food turns out juuuuust fine.

Anyway. I hear your objections and I say to you: check it out anyway. Especially with fall coming and the need to get all nesty with good soups and yummy stuff in the kitchen.

2. Not from the cookbook, but I we made this grilled eggplant last night and it was fantastic and super easy and you should make it too, if grilling and eggplant are your things. I used my big jar of refrigerated minced garlic, dried herbs, threw everything in a shallow bowl, dipped the eggplant slices in it, threw it on a grill. No marinating for days, no chopping stuff – super, super easy, really really good. I want it again, right now, in fact. Nom.


  • 1 large eggplant
  • 3 tablespoons olive oil
  • 2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
  • 2 cloves garlic, very finely minced
  • 1 pinch each thyme, basil, dill, and oregano
  • salt and freshly grated black pepper


Heat grill.
When grill is hot, slice eggplant about 1/2-inch thick. In a small bowl, whisk together the olive oil, balsamic vinegar, garlic, herbs, salt, and pepper. Brush both sides of the eggplant slices with the oil and vinegar mixture.Place eggplant on the hot preheated grill. Grill about 15 to 20 minutes, turning once.

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