I’m Starting To Think This is All My Fault

I’ve been traveling. I’ve been traveling a lot. Not in that fun “Oh my goodness, I just LOVE Grand Cayman in the spring” kind of way, but in that “I think I was in Boston last week, but it could have been Chicago, not sure, but I can let you know once I see my expense report.”

(Funny story: a good friend of mine asked me if I would be in New York the following week, as she would be there and it’d be fun to meet up. Even though she was asking me about plans that were less than five days away, I actually had to look at my calender because I had NO IDEA if I was traveling there. I mean, it’s possible. Likely, even. But I wouldn’t have even begun to guess without checking the calender. This is a …weird phase for me.)

Anyway, next week is suppose to be my week off the road, so of course someone asked me to support some meetings in D.C., and of course I said I would without even hesitating, and I’m starting to think that maybe my stupid schedule is not necessairly a function of a corporation that doesn’t value my time but rather my intense need to feel useful and wanted and being a unrepentent people pleaser.

(Relatedly, a lot of the work I’ve been doing lately has been in conjunction with organizational psychologists, so work dinners these days sound a lot like the above paragraph, where we make fun of each other’s personality traits and discuss how our various character make-ups impact each other and how we let ourselves respond to different people etc., etc. It’s all very naval gaze-y, but also self absorbed and interesting, so, you know, your basic consultants-at-dinner.)

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I’m home now, back in Colorado, and man it feels good to tell you that I’m home and actually have my place of residence FEEL like home. I wish I was a better writer so I could express to you how comfortable I feel here now, and tell you about the little moments I have almost every day that catch my breath and I find myself thinking “God, this is just… perfect.”

This morning I got up to go to my 6am crossfit class, and the morning was so beautiful that when I got back at 7am I threw the dog in the car and we went down the road to the trail-head and got in an early morning hike in the morning mountain sun. The grass is getting green, the wildflowers are popping up, and we meandered down the trail as I thought “God, this is just…perfect.” That I got to squeeze in that moment and still get back in time to get to work — man, what a life.

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In the “Wow, that is Amazing” catagories

ONE: An FCC commissioner joins Comcast after recently approving (anti-consumer) merger. 

So, just to be clear what that says: One of the five commissioners who made the call four months ago to approve the Comcast/NBC Universal merger is now going to work at the same company whose fortune was directly impacted by that ruling.

Gosh, do you think the two are related?

Nice to know that those who are charged with regulating industries are remaining, you know, impartial.

TWO: It was 75 degrees in Colorado yesterday. It is snowing today.

(Perhaps I was not clear in my post title that by “Amazing” I of course mean “Jaw droppingly annoying”) 

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Thanks Danny, I love Washington*

When I travel for work, I rarely have time to socialize in whatever city I’m in; it’s normally a combination of fly-in, check in, work, work dinner, fly out. But I had a D.C. trip popped up and allowed for some leeway and I was able to sneak in fairly solid friend-spending throughout the week.

(Aside: pro-tip, ladies: If you ever feel bad about yourself, go hang out by yourself at the W roof top bar around 5:30 on a weeknight. I got to happy hour a touch early, and if I was the type of person to mis-use the word literally, I would tell you that I was literally fighting off middle aged professional men with a stick. Luckily my girls arrived quickly and we were able to insulate ourselves fairly easily, but, damn. I haven’t felt that good about myself since college. (kidding.))

I wasn’t able to stay at this happy hour as long as I wanted – early work day and all that – but my dear friends ended up staying till past midnight, which for a bunch of women with children and full time jobs, let’s just say that was completely unexpected. While with them, I had small internal hissy fits ( “Why did I move so far away from my friends???”), but we all readily acknowledged the  extreme exception this night was having to every rule (at one point, we all agreed that it had literally (for real, this time) been years since we all decided to rage on a weeknight. Life changes, and so do we, but it was nice we could organize a night for ourselves.

I stayed over Friday night, and had arranged to surprise my friend Chris for dinner at his house, which, if you read that correctly, means I invited myself over for dinner with no warning. I figured it was best if I interacted with Chris as I always did, and showing up unannounced and expecting food is fairly par for the course. I love a good surprise, and I love a good family dinner, and I got to have all those Friday night. I spent this rest of the weekend running long with friends, eating sweaty brunch with friends, and even hitting up my old yoga studio, which, even though I was by myself, felt like seeing an old friend in its own way.

The people combined with the awesome spring weather was basically D.C.’s way of being an  ex-boyfriend: doing everything right for a few days so you forget everything wrong. And in so many ways, the things ‘wrong’ are so minimal, although there was a hilarious moment on dinner Saturday night when someone mentioned a purse costing “$1500 – the cost of a mortgage!” and then we all cracked up, because: not the cost of our D.C. mortgages, not even close. I was ready to leave by Sunday – back to my house and my boys, and well, my life –  but it was great to be back in a place that is still so much an emotional home to me, and the people I consider family.

*Jack Nicholson in ‘A Few Good Men’

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